Word experiment #3 Clemency (please place your writing in the comment zone)

Love,
I wish for you to grow amongst the lunar tides
and factory girls 
girls with words of spit fire,

Amongst things that bruise and scrape, 
open wounds 

At last, a chance to feel something aloud
Verbal love
Open mouthed laughter
The deep down agony of true friendship
And the way that it breaks

Dear sweet love,
For you,
I will steep away and let you fall,
for this is that chariot war kind of love
and It doesn’t get any realer than this

(this is a very loose interpretation, but I decided to go with it any way)

February 13, 2012 at 8:46 PM

Comments

BT said…
Love,
I wish for you to grow amongst the lunar tides
and factory girls
girls with words of spit fire,

Amongst things that bruise and scrape,
open wounds

At last, a chance to feel something aloud
Verbal love
Open mouthed laughter
The deep down agony of true friendship
And the way that it breaks

Dear sweet love,
For you,
I will steep away and let you fall,
for this is that chariot war kind of love
and It doesn’t get any realer than this

(this is a very loose interpretation, but I decided to go with it any way)
February 13, 2012 at 8:46 PM
BT said…
Another week another word, this one was really difficult for me. I had to kind of just stray and let typing take over instead. Good Luck out there to those of you playing. Cheers - BT
February 13, 2012 at 11:33 PM
M said…
I want to be able to forgive you, and sometimes I think I can,
But then I’ll remember reasons why I shouldn’t.
That’s the problem with memory:
The past never entirely goes away.

It’s a matter of principles, and pride; and
Maybe I have too much for my own good.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy;”
But in your case, I can’t dispense it as easily as God might.

In my recurring dream I’m backed onto the edge of a precipice, and
Still hacking and slashing at the words you enjoyed firing at me like arrows.
They cut into my mind, with a mad ferociousness, and
The wounds still ooze like an unholy stigmata.

I remember my face burning and my eyes turning red
And scrambling for just the right words to bore truth into you,
But you didn’t care about anything
Except power and a good laugh.

In my darkest moments, I hunger for vengeance, in this life or the next; but
I'm tired of fear and hatred and need to let your malicious transgressions go.
I still bleed from your words.
Clemency won't come easily, but perhaps one day.
February 17, 2012 at 7:11 PM
BT said…
Really strong writing, memories are so strange the way we unconsciously hold on to them or let them go. The mere fact that sometimes we have no choice in which ones scar us. it's funny like that they way we let people continue to hurt us on our own accord. Wonderful writing. Thank you
February 18, 2012 at 11:13 AM
BT said…
I'm going to try again, i don't think that I did this word justice.
February 18, 2012 at 11:14 AM
M said…
Thanks for the feedback! You totally got the idea I was trying to get across, so thanks for reading it. I was trying to link clemency/mercifulness with forgiveness, and really had to play around with the words for a long time before I could get anything down that seemed to fit. I'm not very happy with the last four lines, but... I'll give myself some "clemency." (grin)
February 19, 2012 at 4:46 PM
M said…
I think it's fine that it's a loose interpretation, especially since clemency has different meanings. This is really beautiful, and from start to finish comes from a deep place. I like the imagery very much, and the idea of clemency does come across... talking about what you wish for someone, wanting them "to feel something aloud," wanting them to understand the nature and fragility and agony of friendship and how the best ones are the ones that are so real that you can see and feel and hear them with the full intensity of what's "REAL." I like the end, with the idea of doing the "clement" thing by stepping away and letting the other person fall because you know that the raging war chariot kind of love is what's most true and most real and the way things ought to be. I like this one a lot.
February 19, 2012 at 5:06 PM
M said…
This was a tough word for me to write about too, more difficult than I expected. I think what you wrote fits though, and I like how you did it without actually using the word "clemency" (or "mercy" or "mildness" et cetera) and still managed to get the idea across really well.
February 19, 2012 at 5:13 PM
BT said…
Thank you MWB. I just couldn't figure this one out, I mean I'm finding it very difficult "Clemency" maybe it's because I apologize way too much for nothing or not enough when i really should. I tend to be hardest on those closest to me. Thank you for reading it. Yeah, the stepping away was the leniency, I guess, still a very loose interpretation.Cheers -BT
February 20, 2012 at 9:51 PM
BT said…
you too. good on us for just going for it. i really am finding this whole thing quite helpful. I think that even if no one else participated again, i will keep it up. It's helping me become more fluid and teaching me how to edit. although, I must say i have quite a long road ahead of me. I have decided to keep learning new things each year, this year how to edit, and not be afraid to put yourself out there. Oh you may also be interested in this (Writing Out Loud) website. Lots of writers and everyone gives feedback and shout outs. It's a really good community based in Great Britan .You should think about joining. Best wishes
February 20, 2012 at 9:57 PM
M said…
I think I know what you mean... I've been "accused" (haha) of apologizing too much and sometimes apologizing when there's nothing to exactly apologize for! On the other hand, there have been times when I wasn't as quick as I should have been to apologize. Yeah, it's funny how we can be hardest on people closest to us, but I think it's because they are the closest that we might expect the very best from them; and times when we feel let down it's like a startling realization that they're only human, but we still love them of course.
February 28, 2012 at 5:27 PM
M said…
Thanks for telling me about Writing Out Loud. I'll check it out tonight!
February 28, 2012 at 5:40 PM
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