I feel like this is two different poems about the same experience, but i couldn't separate them for some reason, so for now, until i learn how to edit, they are staying together.
I hold her in my arms, and her eyes stare into mine. Our eyes match, a bright blue connection. Her eyes then slowly roam over my face.
Her hands, small and soft like the petals of a creamy white violet, are Overpowering in their gentleness as she explores the curves of my face; Cheeks, chin, nose, lips, ears.
She feels the beat of my heart, perhaps gauging its depth. She is trying to read me, and Nothing escapes her attention.
I wonder if she senses anything familiar. We share more than she now knows, yet Her uniqueness is beautiful and without limit.
With love and nurturing her individuality will Grow and blossom like a field of violets; A grand spectacle of blue and white, and even hybrids.
All the colors of her personality will slowly be revealed. She is the present and the future, and She makes it glorious.
This is about holding my baby niece (Violet Evelyn), who is now 17 months old. My brother and his wife don't live in town, so everytime I see Violet it's especially nice. I was really over-thinking "sublime," until I finally stopped trying to look for inspiration and then this just came out more or less naturally.
Anonymous said…
Transcendental Medication
I stare deep into my self, searching for the answer, for the next step.
Again.
It's always been this way. Life has been a treasure hunt, like following crumbs along a trail.
Sometimes they seem so trivial, these messages that come in.
It sounds so innocent to pick a flower,
but just know, that flower picked me...
And what secrets these sublime beings hold!
Their ethereal presence captured as vibration in the crisp memory of water loved.
Today it is Trillium as it was yesterday and the day before.
You have something to tell me if i'd just listen.
Subliminal messages guide my thoughts, dreams, and days.
Each clue leads me deeper in to my truth. Birth and rebirth, the feminine divine.
What does it mean?
Trillium? If i listen, you will tell me?
The unfolding is paced with my readiness to ascend.
You can tell that it just flowed from your fingertips, so very beautiful, what a lucky girl to have such a fantastic uncle to care so much about her. This is my favorite piece of yours thus far. Everything is just right. So eloquently. written.
BT - for Sublime #1... This is pretty impressive because there’s a lot happening. I see what you mean though about how it could be altered into 2 different but related poems (like a sequence), but it still makes sense as one. The first stanza is very striking – a really good opening, so right away you nicely establish the “extreme” nature of the sublime and you carry that throughout the poem. You’ve definitely got the imagery working beautifully, and the stanza that begins: “I was sitting in a green field…..” is one of my favorite parts. I like how this poem tells a story, how it’s addressed to someone in particular, and how as it moves along the intensity increases just like the metaphoric car and driving faster and faster. Something else I like is how it perfectly fits one of the examples you posted of sublime - “He had the sublime confidence of youth.” – that idea of the confidence of youth really shines through. You really took that concept of sublime well and ran with it (or drove fast with it!). The last 4 lines are good, but I agree that ending with the previous 2 lines instead (“And I fear that / You just won’t leave me alone.”) packs more of a punch. Well done!
BT, for Sublime #2 - In this one, I like how you’re also dealing with the sublime, but in contrast to the first poem this second one also feels a bit surreal at times – and I think that’s because there’s a very delicate movement between sleeping/dreaming and being awake. Like where where someone can go and what they can imagine while they’re asleep as opposed to the sometimes harsh realities of being awake and therefore being more restricted. In the first poem, I liked how you used the sublime aspect of fire as something that’s powerful and consuming, and here in the second one you really capture through the imagery of fire the sublime engulfment of intensely wanting someone. There’s also a mournful quality that you nicely manage to slip into the poem, such as the part that goes: “I sleep / so you can dream, awake / inside of me / I sleep so we can speak / I do not try when I’m awake / What would I say? / I’m sorry?” That part is very moving. I love the “sublime” vulnerability and intimacy and strength of the whole poem. The poem’s last four lines are very beautiful, and a great ending, because the words sparkle with the grandeur of honesty.
Thanks, BT. I’m almost never totally happy with any of my poems, but so far this one really did feel the most natural and spontaneous. Thanks for the compliment!
Comments
The day you left,
it rained for three fucking days
and man,
you still wouldn't wash away.
So I prayed out loud to the girls
with more grass
than that green grass
that we used to make love in.
I waited there sea sick,
in sea of emerald green
swaying back and forth
all around me.
Just then, the air picked up,
making the wheat fields arch
and this fire sign ignite.
I could smell you
coming off my skin
the salt of teenage sweat
and freshly tarred summer streets.
held still in thick currents
Wrapped up in dangerous winds,
hitting hard from every direction
I was sitting in a green field,
each wisp of summer air
mocking me
as trees bent over
and rooftops began to sprawl out
piece by piece
they broke away
leaving everything familiar behind
the same way you broke away
piece by piece
leaving nothing behind
for me
to hold on to
The wind tossed my hair,
stinging my cheek
the way it had
when we would roll the windows down
and dare each other to drive fast.
No faster than that.
All those times we dared each other not to brake.
Not to slow down
Not to stop.
Never to stop
Even with the wind slowing down
I do not dare stop.
It is cold and dark out now,
the chill of night is setting in
but all I can feel is the setting summer sun deep within my skin
Again, I can still smell you with each inhale.
The green field we rolled around in a season before
still ripe on my grass stained clothes.
And I fear that
You just won't leave me alone
So I’m going to get in my car now and drive as fast as I can,
because you see,
being a fire sign,
I need you to ignite this flame.
A burning bed ignites me
I sleep
so you can dream,
awake
inside of me
I sleep so we can speak
I do not try when I’m awake
What would I say?
I’m sorry?
I’m on fire
In my sleep
with you
wrapped up inside of me
The wishing tree waits
So I wish,
and when I wish
I wish thoroughly.
For I’m on fire
And I am going to take advantage
of these hours of torpidity
For when I sleep,
I dream
And when I dream
I dream of you
I hold her in my arms, and her eyes stare into mine.
Our eyes match, a bright blue connection.
Her eyes then slowly roam over my face.
Her hands, small and soft like the petals of a creamy white violet, are
Overpowering in their gentleness as she explores the curves of my face;
Cheeks, chin, nose, lips, ears.
She feels the beat of my heart, perhaps gauging its depth.
She is trying to read me, and
Nothing escapes her attention.
I wonder if she senses anything familiar.
We share more than she now knows, yet
Her uniqueness is beautiful and without limit.
With love and nurturing her individuality will
Grow and blossom like a field of violets;
A grand spectacle of blue and white, and even hybrids.
All the colors of her personality will slowly be revealed.
She is the present and the future, and
She makes it glorious.
I stare deep into my self,
searching for the answer,
for the next step.
Again.
It's always been this way.
Life has been a treasure hunt,
like following crumbs along a trail.
Sometimes they seem so trivial,
these messages that come in.
It sounds so innocent
to pick a flower,
but just know,
that flower picked me...
And what secrets these sublime beings hold!
Their ethereal presence
captured as vibration
in the crisp memory of water loved.
Today it is Trillium
as it was yesterday
and the day before.
You have something to tell me
if i'd just listen.
Subliminal messages guide my thoughts,
dreams, and days.
Each clue leads me deeper in
to my truth.
Birth and rebirth,
the feminine divine.
What does it mean?
Trillium?
If i listen,
you will tell me?
The unfolding is paced
with my readiness
to ascend.
to pick a flower,
but just know,
that flower picked me..."
It's magical, I love that you are delving into yourself to find answers (with a little help from your friends,trillium). Enjoy the treasure hunt.
Beautifully done.